From the perspective of an ad weasel, the following represents a perilous political problem.

According to Friday's Wall Street Journal, "There is perhaps no single commodity price that can move the American economy, and politics, more than that of oil."

"Indeed, rising gas prices have played a role in the recent slump in consumer confidence figures that has stirred concern in the Bush campaign. 'There was some evidence in the recent survey that gas prices had an impact on the personal financial situation of lower income households...'"

Come November, there simply will not be enough air time available for "paid political announcements" to negate the impact of $2+/gallon gasoline prices, posted in big black numerals, over every gas station, on every street corner, of every neighborhood in the country.

Worse, current energy price increases have already chewed through half of the $50-$60 billion in added refunds and lower tax payments paid for by the President's besieged tax cut.

The administration still has a bit of wiggle room...President Bush has wisely continued adding to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to protect the country against almost inevitable future supply disruptions. That oil could be made available for current consumer consumption, but tapping into the existing reserve to reduce market prices, as Bill Clinton did a few weeks before the 2000 election, would very likely be seen as an act of crass political opportunism...and a validation of Senator Kerry's current campaign position.

On this particular issue, we are all pretty much in agreement on what the meaning of is...is.

The Institute of Applied Common Sense knows of no sane person expecting even brand new oil company management to do anything other than what is in the short term, economic self interest of their international shareholders.

The President's advisors will need to spend this spring earning their big bucks.

In the mean time, this might not be a bad time for automotive marketers to get their ad weasels working on EPA and driving range ratings oriented messages for the mini motor versions of their best selling behemoths...and to get someone thinking about why "reduced mass = increased response = fun to drive" constitutes a compelling reason why an unhappy public ought to hurry on in for a test drive to see how much fun a remarkably fuel efficient, pocket rocket tuned, mechanical solution to the cost of gas, could be to own.

With apologies to Ms. Joplin...

"Oh Lord won't you buy me, a hybrid GT?"

At least that's the way the future currently looks from the sands of Venice Beach...

Willy

1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.."

3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."

9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?